“For me the world is a garden of culture where a thousand flowers grow. Throughout history all cultures have fed one another, been grafted onto one another, and in the process our world has been enriched. The disappearance of a culture is the loss of colour, a different light, and a different source. I am of the side of different source. I am as much on the side of every flower in this thousand-flower garden as I am on the side of my own culture.” - Leyla Zana, 1995.

In an interview with a prominent Turkish journal, Layla Zana perfectly captures the essence of how I feel about living in the United States (U.S.) and bridging the gap between American values and my Kurdish culture and values. As Kurds, how do we want to define our culture? As an American Kurd who has lived in the U.S. for 11 years, I must say that there are many things that differentiate Kurds from Americans. Kurdish culture emphasizes the importance of family and the aspect of collectiveness. Collectiveness requires a sacrifice of commodities and autonomy for members of family and Kurdish community. For Kurds, the concept of family includes extended family members: cousins, uncles, aunts, grandfather, grandmother, etc. Kurdish culture is a high context society: a direct refusal to do a favor for a family member is considered disgraceful; therefore indirect behavior is a must. Kurdish families work hard to maintain a high level of hospitality. Kurdish families raise their children to respect and to value these cultural practices. For youth born and raised in Kurdistan, these values might not sound as stringent as they do with the youth born abroad. For Kurdish youth born abroad, the level of assimilation to American society is often indirect conflict with Kurdish culture and values.

Many Kurdish people come into the U.S. by way of a defined family structure with a strong faith in their culture. With longer residency in the U.S., Kurdish immigrants become more acculturated. Acculturation is the process of one’s cultural change by incorporating elements of another culture. In anthropology, acculturation is a phenomenon which results when groups of individuals with different cultures come into continuous first hand contact with subsequent changes in the original patterns of either or both groups. At the group level, acculturation is when the collective culture of the group is changed through contact (1). Through the acculturation process, immigrants slowly gain life experience and learn English, which serves as a powerful tool for communication in the resettlement process.

With this in mind, I conversed with some Kurdish youth, “Is acculturation bad?” I asked them. In their responses, some considered being acculturated as bad while others considered acculturation as a relief and an easy way out of the strict and patriotic culture. Those who favored the American culture indicated that they are proud of their Kurdish heritage, but are disappointed in some aspects of Kurdish culture. One youth stated that in Kurdish culture the superiority of men over women is implied, and they see the prevalence of double standards; woman are discouraged from seeking education, they are not trusted, they have little or no personal space or privacy. Those who favored the Kurdish culture emphasized the role of family orientation and how when something goes wrong, they would see a great deal of support from all family members, and always there would be someone to turn to.

I find it interesting to note the contradictory behavior of those Kurds who disfavor the American culture, but choose to immigrate to the U.S anyhow. Similarly, I noticed a high level of American acculturation among youth living in Kurdistan. In Kurdistan two years ago, I saw cafes and computer labs full of youth busy with idle tasks such as chatting and playing video games for hours. I recently heard a report on CNN stating that people in the U.S. perceive the Middle Eastern people as uninvested in their own land and unable (or unwilling) to make effective use of their natural resources.

Kurdish land is very rich in natural resources, especially oil. Instead of making an effective use of their natural resources and turning them into something that can be utilized everyday, Kurds in Kurdistan have allowed the Americans and their corporations take control of the processing of raw materials. In doing so, Kurds have rendered themselves incapable of providing the time, labor, and industry required to process crude oil and other resources. Overtime, this causes an abundance of free time and the high rate of unemployment, which leads to mental and moral corruption among Kurdish youth as well as increased immigration to the West. This reality in Kurdistan has caused youth to grow accustomed to convenience and a more American influenced life style. As a result, Kurdish youth suffer an absence of loyalty for their nation or any other nation We Kurds are going through a unique era of new technical challenges in both Kurdistan and the United States. It is important for those Kurds who are living abroad to admit this fact and to adapt to challenges in the environment that they live in. To achieve this, we not only need to admit to the issues pertaining the acculturation that I mentioned previously, but to closely examine some practices of the Kurdish society. We need to look sincerely and critically at those cultural practices which are taken for granted in our society. Our culture has transformed from one generation to the next, and we need to transform with it, discarding practices and deeds that prevent us from progressing and achieving our goals.

At the same time, Kurdish youth in the diaspora have been educated outside Kurdistan and have been exposed to new methods, ideas from diverse sources, and social and political philosophies of the world, which nevertheless have relevance to Kurdistan. However, they face considerable cultural barriers that prevent them from utilizing the maximum potential of these experiences and educations. Some Kurds think that no matter how many years they reside in the U.S., they will still feel like outsiders to some extend and will never fully be a part of any Western culture. So, many of these Kurds shut all the doors. On the other hand, there are American-assimilated Kurds who highly admire American culture. Their admiration causes them to become too immersed with the American practices and values, and become completely acculturated.

Being affiliated with either aforementioned category, Kurdish families face many different issues living in American society. As a people we have failed in finding the right balance between the Kurdish and the American culture. What does it mean to live “Kurdish” in a western society? How can I state proudly that I am Kurd and I am ready to invest, learn, and communicate in this land without losing my Kurdish identity? To prosper and succeed in the U.S, you have to invest and become a part of the U.S., yet somehow retain your cultural and religious values. We need to learn from one another and from people of different cultural backgrounds. In order to learn, we have to be open to communication and expose ourselves to other cultures and diverse ways. The limitations placed on our participation in politically oriented movements, have caused the creation of many idealistic points of view among our race.

To break the cultural barrier, youth should be encouraged to travel abroad, learn other languages, write about their experiences and understand both Kurdish and foreign life-styles. Kurdish youth need to learn to utilize culture as a formula to achievements and investments in their own futures. Traveling to other countries and learning the language, there are opportunities for communicating with youth from other successful societies. Through travel, youth are able to collect new talents and skills during their time abroad; ideally, they can in turn create opportunities for their peers in Kurdistan.

Those who immerse themselves in American cultural practices will reason that they are fighting for their rights and freedom. For us Kurds to succeed in bridging the gap between the American and Kurdish culture, we also need to create some awareness among youth about important values like freedom. Many youth think of freedom as being able to do whatever you want. Kurdish youth need to understand the true meaning of freedom. Your rights and freedom should never conflict with your cultural and religious values as a young man or woman. You should fight for your rights and I encourage you to do so. Remember your rights should not contradict your cultural balance or the bridge that you maybe trying to connect between both cultures.